Parenting my kids

Everyone's parenting style is different, just like everyones background is different.. So when it comes to parenting I find myself a lone sheep as you will because I'm DIFFERENT. Not to say there arent similiar parenting styles out there, there are and not to say I'm so different no one can relate, because everyone can relate in one way or another. Just in the instance, that no one is quite like me-or my husband. We have approached it head on, just trying to get it right, we don't always and fail often. But everyday we get up (or all night we stay up) being parents.

Its a wonderful thing really, God trusts you with this tiny baby that you have to care for or -it will die. Both physically and spiritually. As they grow, they test you and test you and TEST YOU and TEEESSSSSSTTTTTTT YYOOOOOUUUU! But they are yours and cute and cudly and no one will ever love them more than you do. As my kids grow up I find myself not always being that picture perfect mom, actually more times then not I can say I go man I wish I would have done that differently. But whats done is done and you just try again the next day.

I am raising three wonderful, beautiful, smart boys and they are Gods gift to me and my husband. I get them for a short while, then I am to give them back. I get to watch their first step, feed them their first food and play with them while belly laughs roll out of their mouths. Then I get to watch them learn how to read and I get to teach them what I know....and someday when they get older, I'll know what I get to do then. :) Because right now I have NO clue! I'm learning each and everyday, how to be patient (which isnt a good trait of mine), how to say No, to laugh more and take things less serious, to enjoy smelling the roses and hugs. There is nothing in the world like it. And there is nothing in the world I would trade it for.....

To be continued

March 7th, 2011

"Even when someone tells you the love you, inside you say to yourself, Yes, but you don't know the whole truth about me. You might not say these things if you really knew...Knowing and being known go to the core of life: You cannot be fully loved if you are not fully known. You can only be loved to the extent that you are known. You can only be completely loved if you are completely known."

This was on my daily calendar called "The life you've always wanted" by John Ortberg. I picked it up for free on the "free" MOPS table and have been using it the last couple of days. The quote resinated with me. Some people would know why automatically, others would wonder. In my life, always, I've been a truth seeker. I'm not perfect, which means I'm not always completely honest, but my ability to lie is about nil. I just don't have it in me. Sure, I can lie, anyone can lie, I just don't like to and I've never been very good at it. I'm pretty sure my mom knew just about every bad thing I did as a teenager, regardless of my lies.

Anyhow, being a truth seeker and someone who HATES lies and etc. I have always been as honest and forthright as I can be. In that, I'm honest to a fault. People do NOT always want to hear the truth, whether its fact, or your truth (or opinion). Mostly people get annoyed and feel put off like your a pesimist or judgemental. Biologically, my aunt, who I love dearly is very much like this to. Being a truth seeker in this world, can be your death sentence. So for me, someone who is honest to a fault, its also the way that I deal with "love" and being "loved".

Being honest with those around me about who I am and what I feel has always been important to me. Maybe because I wasnt allowed to express myself as a young child or because God called me to greater things I just havent found yet. Regardless, I can't help it. And just like anyone else, there are things, sins, I have commited that I have questioned why anyone would love me. And then there are times where I feel alone and wonder if anyone really understands who I am. So this quote made me think, thats me. Right there smack dab on a peice of paper....honest to a fault and letting people know me, so that they can love me. Weird, I know.

I also however realize that I am loved. My husband loves me, my boys love me, my dog loves me, however pets can love. That I have sprinkled family who also love me throughout and for that I am grateful. I am not everyone's cup of tea, but for those who know me, and love me for who I am...I am grateful. I'm just like everyone else, searching for relationships that are meaningful and going through life one day at a time.